WW 155: Everything That’s Right (and wrong) About The Concept of “Be-Do-Have” - Solo Show
The concept of Be-Do-Have is commonly used, but so often it’s applied in the incorrect way, and used by many online coaches and teachers for personal gain. In this episode I’m diving deep into this concept and how we can correctly approach it, along with a few of my own gripes about the use of the process. Loving this episode? Take a screenshot and share it on Instagram! Tag me so I can send you some love (@Tess_Wicks)
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A Quick Recap from this episode
This episode is all about deconstructing the mindset and concept of be-do-have.” We approach the way we think about our ability to be, do, or have things in the wrong way. Many online coaches are using it more for their own interest instead of the way it should be used.
I’ve been teaching lately on the concept of Be-Do-Have because it’s a huge part of getting unstuck and starting to move toward your goals. It’s a great way to take the cognitive psychology model of facts creates thoughts then feelings then behaviors and then results and distill it down. It serves you by identifying how you can get the things that you want in life.
We usually think about this in the opposite way. We think we need to already have the things we want, so that we can do the things we want to do, and then be the type of person we want to be. So if you want to be a wealthy person, you think you need to have money so that you can do the things wealthy people do in order to be wealthy.
This is a false model that I believe is brought on by advertising and marketing. In reality, you need to be that person first, so that you can do the things they do, so that you can have what they have. You can be, do, and have whatever you want, as long as you do it in that order.
You have to deconstruct this narrative that you’re supposed to do the process backwards. It takes some mindset techniques to break those barriers and tap into those feelings that you can become the person that will achieve this goal that you have.
We want to be successful and feel fulfilled around being successful, but we believe that in order to be successful we have to have a fully booked out schedule of dream clients or those $10k months, and if we have that then we can show up consistently and focus on service and create. When we can do that we’ll feel successful and validated.
But we know that’s not how it works. You have to break down your skeptical beliefs and step into the identity of the successful person you want to be, so that you can do the things and then have the things that you want. You have to let go of your current identity and push past the rationale factor that pops into your head and take action.
This is where I get into my gripes about how people are misusing this process. We start thinking of this process backwards, and then there our coaches and course creators who try to get you to buy into their product or program on the idea that you should be doing the things others are doing in order to be successful.
That’s not what be-do-have is. It’s an internalized version of yourself, not the external, material things that you need to spend money on. When you’re trying to be like a successful person, you need to come from a place of thought and feeling, not focus on what they’re doing or buying. Focus on how they think about things, feel about their situations, and believe in themselves. How would future you think about this situation?
Internalize that, because that is the being, and that’s the first step.
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